Tuesday, May 27, 2014


I hate Tuesdays. I always have. You could say I am making it a self full-filling prophecy that Tuesdays will be the worst by stating and believing how much I hate them. Go ahead and say that and I will whisper, "Tuesdays are the worst. I am powerless to them!!"
I know I am not alone thanks to facebook and people agreeing with my laments or posting their own. We are out there. Tuesday haters.

Case in point. 
I woke with THIS song. From a dead sleep to waking before the alarm, birds chirping, eyes blinking, head pulsating to the inner beat of this song? How can that not be a Tuesday thing? Who has this song in their head? When was the last time you heard that song? Exactly.


My first memory of hating Tuesday was around the year 2000. It was so visceral that I know it had been there a long time before I could pin point it. I have a theory as to why Tuesdays are so lame: 

I actually don't mind Mondays. I am ready to go, have a lot of plans and energy and can get the most done on that day. Maybe that leaves me drained for Tuesday?

Most people hate Mondays so nothing is truly scheduled for that day which means Tuesdays get piled high with crap! Did you all not see my powerhouse Monday? I ain't got time for this, Tuesday!

Tuesdays are neither here nor there. Where are we on a Tuesday in relation to the week? To our LIVES!!!! (dramatic) We are waiting for the stupid camel jokes of Wednesdays and wading through the "could be worse....could be Monday" lies from those around us.  That is where.

And now you have today. A Tuesday disguised as a Monday. And I can be positive about how it is a four day work week. And I can enjoy the beauty of this morning on my porch where a hawk was just escorted noisily away by some smaller birds who weren't having it. I'm about to wake my sleepy children and make sandwiches and breakfast and brush and rake some hair. All so lovely. A fresh day that can be whatever I make of it! I do so appreciate all of that. Don't get me wrong.

But it is Tuesday. And Eddie Murphy is with me. So is my to do list which seems rather lame. So I shall sulk privately.....on my blog... and wish you all a wonderful week ahead.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Working Through My Complaint of the Day

Hello. How are you?

I have been very very busy working on not complaining. I'm not sure how great I am at it yet, and by saying that I know that I am not great at not complaining yet. BUT! I am aware that I am working on not complaining so much. So....yay! 

In my mind, 12 times a day at least, comes the phrase, "Damn autocorrect!" and I know I am not alone. In fact, some of the times that the phrase comes into my head is because I am reading it from a friend who is posting or texting. 
That autocorrect! 
Trying to freaking help us!! 
It can be so annoying. I was NOT trying to write english muffins! What the heck was I trying to write that autocorrected to english muffins? 
And sometimes it autocorrects to words I spelled wrong in the past but bypassed the correction it offered. Now the "wrong word" is saved in my phone. 

For example when, say, a boss texts, "Can you cover a MCAS make up?" 
The autocorrected response I write comes up as "suuuuuuuuuuuuuurey'aaaaaalllllllls!" 
instead of 


Oh my Lord. 
Damn you, autocorrect.

But this is when you got to flip it! This is when you have to get on top of the wave of complaining so it isn't crashing all around you....even with damn autocorrect! I mean, remember that time it helped you spell "bulbous" correctly? (Yes you do. Don't be difficult). Or when it uppercased "Christmas" for you because you were just too damn lazy to hit the shift key or the arrow thingy? Or saved you from writing "sceince class" instead of "science class" or, maybe even "seance class" (because who knows?)? 

Oh, it HAS been there for you. 
It has. 
"Fo" to "of". 
"Ot" to "it". 
"Live" to "love" or "love" to "live". 

That autocorrect is trying its best for you! And sometimes, if you really work with it, it can come to understand you. I, thankfully, am no longer hanging out, loving, and running errands with some guy named "Ron" like my iphone insisted. And sometimes if you let it lead the way, it can know you better than you know yourself. Maybe you are "hoppy? today. Ever think of that?

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Zen-ish (I never thought I was a control freak)

I try to be very calm. I try to be in the moment. I work on mindfulness throughout the day, breathing, noticing, thinking, carefully speaking (at times), being present. These are all things that mindful people should do. This a great deal of what makes up Buddhism. How wonderful to be in the present, not the future. To understand you are not in control. To speak only when what you have to say has a place.

Unless you are a control freak ME.

The top 10 things that make being Zen not always possible for me.

1. Children.
Yes, I can be present with my children. But I am also in the future. I need to know how I am going to be in two towns at once to pick up two kids. One child in the backseat needs to pee because I was too in the moment to remind him to use the bathroom before we left because that was the future I would be worrying about.

2. Dinner.
You have to plan ahead. This isn't a monastery. No one is bring us meals out of kindness. And I make a list, thinking ahead of what I will need. But I do so mindfully. So that is OK. And I buy yogi tea. (Nirvana at any moment!)

3. Children.
I listen to my children. I am actually pretty good about knowing when I should give advice now; before always piping up with something because I wanted to control how they handled a situation. Now I still do that...but with a great excuse as to why I have to do it this time. Because you are going to be freezing, that's why. Because he will think you are being mean. Because that may cause you to fail the test. That's why. (Oh, and because I told you to. That, too.)

4. Women.
We talk. I talk. Even when I may be talking...maybe not so....very perhaps free of...a smidge of judgement.
I feel guilty now...
Talking mindfully without idle chatter anymore. LOOK AT THAT! WOOHOO!
(Doh. Lies.)

5. Children.
I mean, seriously. If I didn't control what they remembered to pack and controlled when they did their homework....I will work on putting the control in their hands. I will. I will tell them they have to put the control in their own hands.

6. Spouses.
If I didn't worry about bedtimes and suggest when it is time to get going along on that errand or remind gently of all the things the kids need to be controlled about....chaos. CHAOS is not ZEN!! THAT is a FACT!

7. Children. (I can't get freaking past the children thing)

8. Dukkha. Suffering. It is a given and it is only relieved by realizing that nothing is in your control (!) and by letting go of tanha- desire....among other things. (Just an overview here) I suffer. A lot. Desire can be as simple as wanting something pleasurable to last (school vacation and easter baskets) or to be away from unpleasant feelings and situations (loss and angry emails).

9. Children. Their dukkah is my dukkah. (Cue the high pitched scream of banshee in my ears) I can't stomach it.

10.Work. Especially in my line of work helping students who need organization of self, thoughts, study habits, etc. I'm in the now, I'm in the past, I'm in the future, and I am pushing some serious control over everything. I am good at this job. (OK, I over edit their writing. They could get published at this point) However, my glimpses of zen is what makes me feel confident in what I do. I can hunker down in their "now". All that 12 year olds have are their "now". I have to stop and join them there, calm them, listen to them, relax them or they will never be able to work towards their future.

My husband, a self described living in the present kind of guy, who married, clearly, a future thinker, quotes something to the effect of this to me all the time:

But then he continuously forgets the kids' stuff at random baseball fields around the area while doing Little League duty. He's costing us money. If I had to "future think" on this in a "controlling way", I would have to say that he is going to have to own a little tote bag...a little embarrassing tote bag, that he will have to carry around to keep all the stuff in check.