Thursday, January 14, 2016

I'm 43 Years Old.

You know what is missing?
My feeling that I am entitled to anything.
I have lost 100 pounds with that realization in ego alone.
I earn the respect I receive.
I also don't earn the respect I deserve and oh, well.
I give the respect that is earned.
I sometimes give respect where it is not earned because that is how I was raised.
I don't lose any of my character that way.
I do not have to win.
And when I don't win, I haven't lost.

You know what I have learned?
The last word is often the wrong word.
Patience is hard to find and hard to hold.
(Therefore, a rare gem to not lose.)
Taking a beat before answering allows possibility to grow.
It also can be dramatic and effective.
There is always a reason and it doesn't get to be an excuse.
There is always a reason and take that into consideration.
Learning happens every day and every minute.

You know what I am embracing?
The grey hairs at my temples.
The wrinkles at my eyes.
The people who are kind to me.
The people who share wonderful moments with me.
The challenges when they appear before me.
The challenges I sometimes seek out when feeling brave.
The most boring and most challenging and most sorrowful and most joyful days.
Because they are a gift.
And that is only truly known when you've lost that someone you want to embrace.

I am 43.

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